A Brit, a Yank and a Kitchen

Tuesday, March 27

The Milk Dealer

The below story is a dramatization... its all hearsay and I don't have a clue who it happened to. The pictures above are actors only portraying contraband dairy products.

It was 9pm... and the long waited phone call comes in.

"We are meeting at the gas station at the interstate exit in 10 minutes... bring $37 cash. Look for a white unmarked truck."

Nervous with anticipation for the upcoming transaction.... picking up the contraband that I've been craving for months..... I get in my car in the dark of the night and head for our meeting point.

In the far corner of the parking lot... out of the view of cameras... I see my contact. I pull up and tell him my name.. and he signals me to pull up behind him.

Nervously he glances around and opens a cooler in the bed of his truck.

"Have you tried this before?"

"No.... but I've been wanting to for ages!" I say as I take the jug from his hand. Fresh... raw... grass fed cows milk. Most likely it was still inside said cow yesterday. No factory farms... no big corporate involvement... no federal regulations. Sadly, and rediculously... illegal.... for "human consumption" anyways.

More goodies he reaches for and hands over.... raw cheese.... a dozen pasture hen eggs.. all different sizes and colors. He holds them up like diamonds, showing me how each one is unique and beautiful. A pale green one he points out affectionately, "This one here... these kind are really special, lucky you got one of these."

I hand him my cash and before we're even back in my car he is already in his truck and pulling out to the street.

I feel giddy.... it all went down without a hitch.

We get home and without a blink 2 glasses are pulled from the cupboard and filled to the brim with thick rich milk.

Like a fine wine we swirl... watching the "legs" cling to the sides. We stick our noses in and inhale.... it smells sweet... slightly grassy... like fresh hay in a barn.

Then what we were waiting for... the tasting.

I* took a sip and it was by far the sweetest milk I'd ever tasted... smooth and clean. Again with just the slightest hint of grass. Needless to say this gallon is now almost empty.

I love opening that fridge and seeing that happy jug chilling in there... cream floating blissfully on top.. the way its supposed to. And knowing it came from a happy cow... who grazes in the sun. Why and when did such a God-given natural right become a crime? It is sad indeed.

Its a matter of time before they release the Soylent Green.

*I is actually the family cat.... She has very strong communication skills.


Blogger ros said...

That unidentified person is so lucky to have proper unpasteurised milk AND cheese. I'm jealous.

I think it's technically illegal to sell it here too, but not to consume (I'll check that). My ex had some of the milk from a farm near where he lived and said it was just the best thing ever.

11:02 AM  
Anonymous Scott said...

You can have the milk, but the cheese looks wonderful.

7:26 PM  
Blogger Susan in Italy said...

Wow that sounds great! I remember Mexican neighbors back in Chicago who, when back home would drink very fresh milk, still warm from the cow. Evidently, you need to be used to that or you could get a stomach ache. Did the cheese have a grassy note to it as well?

7:44 AM  
Blogger Lea said...

Susan- it is said that the cat who did the tasting couldnt detect a grassy flavor over the sharpness of the cheddar. :)

8:42 AM  
Blogger Truffle said...

You lucky thing! Sounds absolutely wonderful.

I've added a link to your blog:)

9:42 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Oh wow! What fun! One of the vendor at my local farmers' market will sell me VERY free-range eggs on the sly, if no one else is looking. I'm so glad I stumbled across your blog. I love you playful approach to eating, and apparently, to life as well!

12:54 PM  

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